O New Orleans, we love you for so many reasons, but it’s no mystery that the men in this city and the South overall are not fashion forward, to say the least. Here are some of the, um trends is the wrong word – the worst things we see men in this city rocking with no shame. Absolutely, no shame.
We don’t care how hot it is outside guys, flip flops are a fashion no no. This goes for any sandals for that matter. Tevas, no, those brown things with the velcro, nope.
Where and when are you going fishing? You guys want to bitch about us wearing athleisure when we aren’t going to work out so it’s only fair that we throw this one in 😉 But, really, they aren’t cute.
Suits that Don’t Fit
Southern men are notorious for wearing ill-fitted suits. Are you trying to cover up your beer belly, or is it just still left in your closet from your fraternity formal? Invest in one nice suit that fits you really well every two to three years. Just do it.
Why do we even have to say this? Even restaurants and bars in the city feel like they have to post signs that restrict this, and you get offended that they won’t let you in. Shame. You look like a character off of the Jersey Shore, and we are starting to think you have the brain of one of them as well.
Frat strap, dad strap, we don’t know what the formal name is, but we see these far too often. Are you afraid you are going to lose your sunglasses? That $300 pair of krewes isn’t even worth it if you put one of these around your neck. Maybe it’s practical, but you look like a straight dweeb. Just, be an adult and don’t lose your sunglasses. Or do, and get new ones. That would be a better way to spend money than the cost of the shame you receive from us for wearing these.
Your High School Ring
We knowwww, in New Orleans, it’s all about where you went to high school. Don’t hate us, but we beg to differ. Isn’t this a little antiquated guys? If you do care, just ask. Take off the ring. You look like the football player we went to prom with who never left his home town and is now an unemployed alcoholic living in his mom’s basement.
Loafers and Shorts
This is only acceptable when our dads do it, and even then we want to say something. Maybe this was the look in your frat, but you are an adult now and you look silly.
Leave it us to wear shades of coral, lavender, and pastel yellow, when they are in style that is. Pastels are out if you haven’t noticed guys. You’ve been wearing them since college. Meanwhile, your s.o. purchased a pastel item or two in 2012, gave it about a year run and then rid her closet of them.
o. my. god. why. We aren’t sure why this ever became a thing. If they are needed for golfing or something, ok, but can we not do these on a reg day. Is your head too sweaty with a normal hat? Then, don’ wear one.
Other Weird Hats
We aren’t even sure what to call these hats that look like they are straight out of a depression-era movie. Common among musicians and other street artists, or even just your neighborhood hipster, these brown hats without a name gotta go.
Collegiate Polo Shirts
O my gahhhh, are you an LSU alumni? So are half the people in this town… like maybe on a game day, maybe, but please keep it out of your day to day wardrobe. Leave a little bit of mystery. You are not in college anymore.
But, seriously guys, it’s a god damn shame. Us ladies put a lot of effort into looking our best even in 98 degrees humidity. The least you could do is update your wardrobe from 2011. K, thanks.
Disclaimer: New Orleans men are not solely to blame. We are talking to you entire Southern United States and anyone else who refuses to give a shit for that matter.
Did we forget any?!? Let us know in the comments!